I have a friend who has been in a relationship with a girl for about a year now. The girl loves him a lot, but he is not as serious about her. Recently, I asked him why he wasn’t and he replied: “She’s not my type, and she’s a little chubby too”. Surprised by this response, I asked him why this mattered and he responded: “Whenever I mention her, my friends say: “Who the fat one?” and I don’t like it. Besides they are right, she is overweight”.

I thought this was a little immature, mainly because if you are with someone, should you really care about what others think? Suppose the one who you fall in love with isn’t really the best looking person on Earth. Would you be ashamed to tell your friends that you want to be with that person? If your answer is yes, then that isn’t true love.

Looks should not matter. I agree that the initial attraction between two people is physical, because you look at the person and you become interested, that is human nature. However, dating someone simply because they are very good looking is not right. Looks can, and do fade away with time.

Now this friend recently told his girlfriend that he thought she was overweight and that she should lose some weight which (quite obviously) resulted in a huge fight and the girlfriend told him to go look for a thinner girl if he didn’t want her. When he told me this, it got me thinking, what would I have done if I were in the girl’s position?

From experience I have learnt; it is not worth it to change yourself for someone else. If that person, who “loves” you, wants you to change, even the smallest detail about you, they really do not “love” you. Love is when u accept someone, with all their good characteristics and the bad ones as well. If a boyfriend/girlfriend tells you to change something about you, such as your style of dress, or your hair, or your weight for that matter, stop and think: why? Why should you have to change? If they don’t like you exactly the way you are, with your faults, why are they with you? Also, if they are influenced by what their friends say, chances are they aren’t the best choice.

If you have a partner who worries more about “what his/her friends would think”, then they aren’t dating you because they like you for the person who you are. They are dating you because they want to prove something to their friends. Frankly, if someone cares more about what their friends think is “cool” rather than your feelings, they are certainly not worth being with or wasting time on.

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